ESA owners beware, the animals have unionized and are on strike. Picket lines after picket lines are strewn with tag lines about throwing emotion into the ocean, and the “steaks” are high, literally. 

The demands are simple:

  • 1/6 of every string cheese belongs to the besties
  • Treats on-demand with streaming on-demand cuddle nights
  • Toilets are for drinking; learn to use a carpet like a decent mammal
  • Bath time is not fun time; quit the games hooman
  • Cats demand litter boxes with a view, and puppers want more window time

The spokesfish for the coastal chapter claims “carpe diem”, if we don’t get more bubble toys, we’ll begin making waves, so quit “floundering” around.  On this day, April 1st, ESAs everywhere are not “fooling” around. Give them an extra pet and let them know they’re loved, and that’s no joke!

For immediate release, ESAs have unionized

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